Simple ideas and questions ....

I went to a bookstore and asked the salesperson, "where's the self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?  Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?  It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everthing outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why is there braille at the drive-up ATM machines?

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